au where the trojan war is a party menelaus throws to win back his girlfriend who left him for some douchebag and he ropes all his friends into helping him and wacky shenanigans happen and a running gag is that odysseus doesn’t even want to be there he’s got shit to do and at the end he gets stuck in traffic on the way home
on the way home odysseus gets into a very minor fender bender that’s more like a fender bumper with some shit driver who is almost DEFINITELY high. and it’s all this guy’s fault but he won’t stop screaming about how he’s gonna fucking sue and odysseus just wants to go the fuck home and the guy goes “I’M FILING THE POLICE REPORT WHO ARE YOU” and odysseus is just so done that he says “nobody” and drives the fuck off and this completely tripping guy ends up screaming to the police at the side of the road at like three in the morning “NOBODY CRASHED INTO MY CAR!!!!!”
#I’M FUCKING SCREAMING #THIS WOULD BE SO GOOD THO #ODYSSEUS’ GF PENELOPE IS STUCK AT ANOTHER PARTY #GETTING HIT ON BY DOUCHES FROM ANOTHER FRAT #BUT ODYSSEUS HAS TO LIKE FIND A NEW CAR AND TRIES TO BORROW ONE FROM THIS CHICK WHO GIVES HIM SOME FUCKIN LACED POT OR SOMETHING BC HE FEELS LIKE HE’S BEEN THERE FOREVER #AND MEANWHILE PENELOPE HAS BEEN FORCED TO SAY THAT SHE’LL GO HOME WITH WHOEVER CAN BEAT HER AT BEERPONG #ONLY SHE’S FUCKIN LEGENDARY #SUCKS TO SUCK THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN BEAT HER IS ODYSSEUS #BUT HE HAS TO BE ON THE DL BC THIS FRAT HATES HIS GUTS #AND HE BEATS HER #AND SHE KNOWS IT’S HIM
why the flip is this on my dash it wasn’t supposed to be like this
Walter M. Miller Jr (via kushandwizdom)
When Kira Kazantsev was crowned the new Miss America on Sunday night, a feeling of déjá vu set in.
Not only was she white — like all but nine of the 94 winners before her — she also fit snugly into a narrowly defined standard of Western female attractiveness: early 20s, long flowing hair and a thin, painstakingly tanned physique that would not seem out of place in a Victoria’s Secret catalog.
In many ways, the Miss Indian World pageant’s definition of what American beauty truly entails is the ideological antithesis to Miss America. Indeed, since 1984, this five-day competition based in Albuquerque, N.M., has honored Native American woman for their contributions to their communities, not their bikini bodies. The top award is given to the contestant who “best represents her culture,” according to Al Jazeera.
my writing style could best be described as “probably more commas than is entirely necessary”
SO SOME ASSHOLE GOT HOLD OF MY PHONE AND CHANGE ALL MY CONTACT NAMES, ICONS AND RINGTONES TO THIS FUCKING THING
SO NOW WHENEVER I GET A CALL MY PHONE THINKS IT’S BEING ALL CUTE LIKE “it is a mystery” FUCK YOU MAN
This is a blessed post and that ringtone is the cutest thing BUT I CAN NEVER FIND THE FUCKING POST FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS
I’m quite pleased with this.
Rapping this out loud in my empty classroom like swag.
WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WADDUP I AM A BIG SCOT
I’M SO PUMPED ABOUT SOME VISION THAT THE WITCHES GOT
I WILL BE THANE, SO SAYS THE PROPHECY
THAT PEOPLE LIKE “DAMN, MACBETH DESERVES GLORY”
I reblogged this so fast guys
[2/9] CHINESE GODS AND GODDESSES | MAZU
Mazu [媽祖], also spelt Matsu and Ma-tsu, is the Chinese goddess of the sea who is said to protect fishermen and sailors.
Over 1,000 years ago, a beautiful young girl by the name of Mazu (original name was Lin Mo) was born at the Xianliang Port of Meizhou Bay in Putian, East China’s Fujian Province. Clever, brave and kindhearted, Mazu could forecast the weather and offered medical services to fellow islanders. With her innate weather-forecasting ability, Mazu saved the lives of many fishermen from the menacing typhoons.
Since Mazu encouraged the people to conquer nature and defeat evil, she was much loved and esteemed by the locals. Touched by her kindness and good deeds, the townspeople greatly respected her and eventually deified her as the daughter of the dragon, the Goddess of the Sea and the Holy Mother who could bring them blessings. Unfortunately, Mazu died at the young age of 28. As legend goes, Mazu ascended to heaven and became immortal at Meizhou Bay, located opposite to Xianliang Port.
This is the happy story of a fairy-tale girl who loved macarons and lived a thousand years.
The unsung heroes.
That was one of the most horrifying, painful, beautiful parts of the movie. So many of them weren’t prepared, so many were administrators who had no clue that the STRIKE teams had turned, let alone that a killing machine like the Winter Soldier was on the loose.
So many of them died.
And yet none of them hesitated. Despite the propaganda Pierce had unleashed, despite their orders, despite everything, they still responded. Their sacrifice, their heroism - they gave the last full measure of devotion, and I can’t imagine that Steve wouldn’t attend the memorial service, even if he had to use a wheelchair or a cane because his own wounds hadn’t finished healing.
"Captain’s orders" indeed.
without these people, there IS no Captain America.
Disguised as a Mayan ruin in the jungles of Chiapas, the Mexican School for Enriched Magical Studies is a sturdy moss-covered structure blanketed by lush greenery. The students are no strangers to muggle tourists ambling about, and will often pose as fellow tourists or locals and interact with them, making them one of the most outgoing, lively, and tolerant communities in the wizarding world. For festivals, students like to don vibrant headdresses, and the school becomes a kaleidoscope of colour as girls twirl around like tops, their skirts lifting up into the air, filling empty space with colour and painting the school with embellished splendour. The campus often reverberates with music from the school’s ghost mariachi band who plays cheerfully day and night; although it tends to get annoying at times, the constant activity makes the school feel like home.
food should be free. water should be free. housing should be free. power, fuel, electricity should be free. basic necessities should be free.
the idea of “people should have to work for a living” carries the implication that some people deserve to die